Human Basics

What is it to show respect?
What is it to show you care?
What is it to be fair?

Since childhood, we are instilled with a basic values system by which we govern our actions and live our lives. But how is it, that in a society that puts such emphasis and being "a good person", individuals can go so far astray. I'm not talking about the extremes such as theft, abuse or even murder. I'm talking about every day situations - such as treating those you "care about" the way one would treat somebody you "care about". How can somebody instill such hope, faith and joy into another human and then strip it away a moment later? How can a person speak words of passion and love, and by their actions deem them to be hollow and without meaning?

I don't understand. Shouldn't the norm be that when a person's feelings are at stake, then showing respect and being fair be the only correct course of action?

I recently experienced what it is to be let down by somebody you thought better of. Frankly, it sucks. It's that simple. And while you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that at some point you will be let down by those closest to you, nothing can ever prepare you for the feeling of finality that accompanies it. And nothing will ever prepare you for the disappointment - and at times anger - you will feel in those people. Try as you may, you won't ever forget.

It's sad.

I wish it weren't so.
A lot.
And often.

I'm sorry...

Broken Skin

It penetrates his very being. It courses through his body, spreading through every inch like a poison. A fire in his mind. A thunderstorm in his heart. A hurricane in his soul. He struggles to move. His limbs are heavy. His skin begins to crack. He is - for the first time - experiencing the sensation of emptiness. Nothingness. The spark is extinguished. The twinkle disappears. The cool breeze surrounds him. The sun's rays suddenly carry no warmth. His eyes betray him. So he leaves. Without a fight.

He simply leaves.
He is forced to leave.

There is no good reason for any of this.


He wonders, "It's not fair."
He responds, "Life's not fair. Let it go."

And eventually, he did...

Roger

Roger walked in and sat.

"I hate this couch. It symbolises all that is bad. It is misery, pain and anger - with a hint of confusion. I think I can taste a bit of getting ripped off too. It's pretty comfortable though. Does it come in a light blue?"

Sophie smiled and swept her dark hair to one side. She crossed her legs over and stared over at Roger, deep in thought. But said nothing.

Time passed. The stand-off continued.

Light peered in from under the lowered window shades. The room was all but bare. Two black couches faced each other. The air-conditioner hummed and purred, but to little effect. There were no paintings, no tables. Nothing friendly. But Sophie.

Roger stood, paced for 10 seconds, and sat back down. He took off his glasses and ran his hand through his hair.

"What can i say?"
"What do you want to say?" came the reply.

Roger couldn't help but smile.

"You're useless. I'd have as much fun talking to my apple."
The minutes passed.

Silence consumed the room like air. They breathed it. Deep, slow breaths.

Sophie made the move, "Change the circumstances. Go back one year. Before everything. Were you happy?"
"No."
"And now?"
"No."

"Can you see yourself being happy?
No. "Depends".

"Interesting".
"Well spotted Sherlock."

"What would make you happy?"
"You know."
"Anything else? Not money, fame, fortune? Sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll? A lamborghini. World peace?"
"No. Although I wouldn't turn down the car if you're offering..."

Sophie looked Roger up and down. She had known him for years. But he had changed somehow. Not visibly. He had discovered something. Someone.

"You're depressed", she commented. "But I thought you told me what you uncovered was an incredible thing."
"That's the irony of love. It warms your heart, but often it burns it. You know how to tell a man is in love? His mood swings are bigger than a woman's."
"What a lovely sentiment."
"I love her."
"So do something."
"I did. That's the problem. That's why we met, remember?"
"True."

Roger looked at his shoes. Sophie examined them too.

"You only live once. Jump in head first and hope you land in water."
"Thanks, Sophie. But if there is one thing I've learnt from our sessions, it's that you undoubtedly did not listen to your Psychology lecturer."

"See you next week?
"12pm Monday suit you?"
"Absolutely."

Roger paused at the door. He placed a finger on the handle, turned, "I hate her. But only for the next 5 minutes. You see my mood swings? I'm in love."

And he left.

For the first time in my life I have nothing to say.

And quite frankly, I'm terrified.

Global Warming - PLEASE READ

OK, so we've all heard a billion arguments about global warming. A lot of us are even getting a bit sick of going around in circles. But this video blows all arguments out of the water. I haven't been able to find a flaw in it. To be perfectly honest, it's really scary. So please, take the time to watch this video. Really listen to what he is saying, and try and do your part.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDsIFspVzfI

Pass this video on if you can!

The Step

I'm in a desert. The sky is blank, staring down at me with its piercing blue eyes. It offers no help, no solice from the blazing heat that consumes me. I walk through the sand. It's heat surrounds my toes as I wiggle them to gain grip on the steep dunes. I wonder when this will end. When will I find the oasis that brings with it the juices of life? When will I find the oasis that brings with it reinvigoration of the soul?

I am now on my hands and knees. I crawl towards the top of the dune. Every breath becomes a struggle. My anger rises. My temper flares. My patience expires. As the sun rises to its peak, it stares down and judges. In a fit of madness, I throw sand in its direction and curse it. Why does it punish me? Why does it judge me?

I make it to the top of the dune. I stand. Slowly. Purposefully. Defiantly. A cool breeze dances around my ankles. And as I survey the view, I realise that I am no longer in a desert. I am in a sandbox. I calmly step out, and smile at the feeling of wet grass on the bottom of my feet. So I remove my other foot from the sandbox. I take a few more steps, and with each step my anger fades. My temper subsides. My patience restores itself. I am not in an oasis. I am somewhere far more permanent.

But then I wonder, "Why did I wait so long to realise it was merely a sandbox? Why didn't I step out earlier, rather than prolong my own suffering and torment?"

It was only a step... And in this new place, I look at the sun once more, but this time I thank it for the lovely tan.

A Progression Of Thoughts

This is where I want to be.

This is where I am.


This is how I want to be.


This is how I'm afraid I'll end up.


This is what I want to do.


This is what I'm doing.


This is how I want to be. Now and forever.


This is my greatest fear.